Music Feeds the Soul: January 2013

On the 2nd day of school-reopening, I decided to do something crazy. I went back to high school, SMK Seafield it was. Looking around, I seen so many changes. Simply speaking, I was here just for memory flashbacks, see some friends, speak(mess) with teachers. Oh did I mention, I went back in school uniform.

YOLO mode activated.

I could have easily passed off as still a high school student, except I forgot about the most important element - the hair. I thought to myself ah well dammit just go on with it. First I went into the teachers' office, and was immediately greeted with different gestures and expressions. Some didn't look too happy, some were shocked(in a good way), whilst others remain oblivious. Some awesome ones like Pn. Doris, Pn. Chow, Pn. Latha, Pn. Poh, Pn. Sophia were all there.

Next I got caught by the discipline teachers. Wow they had a new one, Pn. Tan or something. Pn. Sujatha remained as the head-discipline teacher but Pn. Ung became an ordinary discipline teacher, which was weird because she WAS the head-discipline teacher before Pn. Sujatha took over for her 6 month holiday trip. Anyway, this Pn. Tan looked over and called "Boy, why your hair like that one? What class are you?!" I was gonna crap something but Pn. Sujatha smiled and said "This isn't a student, an EX student". Well we had fun chatting.

Cover blown =/

But they did mention about me being in school uniform and appearing around like that. Bring bad image to the school they said. Well, the new discipline teacher said that, not Pn. Sujatha. C: She actually smiled.

But I gave that a thought and well, it's true in a sense. But that yet sparked another desire in me to go survey the teachers for some reason, and so I did. To my surprise, most teachers have a changed mindset for the better good. But there are STILL some teachers still have a closed up, traditional, and somehow are intolerant to the developing culture of the YZ generation. In layman's terms, there are just that few teachers that remain idiotic to you when you provide reasonable explanations and corresponds to what is more likely called the "hatred between a student and teacher" phenomena.

It's alright, their mindsets weren't that much of an importance to me, at least not anymore. 3 years have passed and each time I visited back here(I have only visited 3 times including this), I feel a change. Be it the community, building new blocks, or even school system changes, it was still change. But the teachers, not really much. This is coming from a perspective of an outsider. You can never notice it because when one immerses oneself into the culture, they continuously buy into the culture and the thoughts of these people are clouded, just solely because they will always stick to the majority.

Majority isn't always right, and that's why there is nothing wrong in being different.

I met Pn. Ung in the canteen while I was eating. Yeah I was snapped by her about my hair, but that's all to it. We went on to chat about my future studies, when I was going to fly and stuff. I too said I was just here to just walk down memory lane. She said: "This is your past chapter of the book, now the chapter is closed and here comes the new chapter of your life" I merely responded: "That's the whole point of it being a book, because the best part is that pages can always be flipped back and be read again".

Being in school, I didn't bring back much traditional studies and knowledge and what not. But what I did take home was the experience on how to live in this world, the understanding above others to know what are essential to the plot of the story(high school, work, society), as well as the advantage to decipher psychological readings of another person.

I am not a good student, and I admit that. I have ADHD, but I never used that excuse. I just did what was necessary to survive in high school. Through the bullying, through the suffering, through the isolation, through the negligence of both the society and understanding subjects, I learned to live. I have observed Seafield for as long as the 5 years I have been studying in it. Never once I buy myself into that culture there. My mentality and others just do not clique together. Nevertheless, I had a few good friends. I never forget who they are. Just proud that I have the quality, and not the quantity.

There goes my memories of form 4 and form 5 life, skipping classes to just stroll around and think, because I sometimes get too tired of even sleeping in class. Teachers were already done with me since then. Usually, I will end up in the Bilik Pengawas playing the piano. I almost got busted 4 times, but that's the thrill of it. Contentment comes in the form of passion. I was just merely doing what I do best.

I came into the school, immediately got stares from students(long hair of course), busted by teachers thinking that I was a student, acting I was actually a student here to some prefects who were scouting around thinking I was skipping class, (and again about the hair). Even some of the students were jeering at me. I heard names being called out at me, and some snickered. This is society. I gotten used to it. I did not walk in just to show my hair as some people said. More of a metaphor of how quickly one person can be judged based on looks alone. It seemed to escalate further than I thought. I continued my walk through the botanic gardens and the Seafield Hall. I continued to see people I know.

I was a walking relic of memoir. Everyone that saw me and walked up to me and said how long they did not see me and how time flies so quickly. I took on the act to be the memoir relic to spark flashbacks in teachers especially. So many teachers said it was just like yesterday they saw me in school. To be honest, I just thought that the teachers deserve a catalyst to think back in time. Some teachers just teach blindly for years. Form 5 leaves, Form 1 comes in, and the infinite cycle continues. It continues for so long until teachers get lost in their own void of time. I do feel for the teachers too. They're just carrying out their duty. Sparking their flashbacks to not only about me, they would have thought back about other students too after seeing me, and that was just my 10-second engineered goal.

Teachers do deserve to smile, sometimes.

I'm done here. This YOLO event for me was just something to fill up my time before I leave to the states. Going back to visit an old school is normal, but doing it in school uniform allows you more authenticity to the feeling. It's alright to be different, but you have to know how to be. Everybody wants to look to the future, but you will always need to check your closet to search for remnants of memories that put a smile on your face. A strong person isn't created through hard work, a strong person is toughened with sticks and stones that break the bones. Lastly, to those whose lives are square, do things that gives you topics to talk about in a mamak stall, something small and fun that makes you think to yourself and say: I'm glad I did that.